2013, for wishes and hopes and dreams


To release myself from emotional toxins

To often search for light and to not giving up when all is fail.i have failed in certain aspects of my life and I constantly fear adulthood..for someone that appears to be strong, god knows how weak i am.

For things that i want (need)  but sadly I have no control of, I

wish for more understanding from the certain people that i care most in this world

for when we yearn for love we often mistaken our self with yearning to be understood. i believe that it is to understand first and then one is able to love.


Till then, god bless..







Hell is other people

Things are weird lately. Last time I checked, there are only few shades of grey, next thing I know, there are 50. Women who openly reading that book in public places..urm well, it’s like watching other people watch porn. Interesting, but weird. And disturbing.

Life gives you whatever it wants to throw at you . Deep (places one hand under the chin. urut dagu)

I wonder how people deal with issues in their life. The only time that I am able to really concentrate on thinking is when I’m driving, hence resulting in some near accidents experience. I don’t know, I often find myself lose in thoughts while I’m driving. Sadly the past 2012 and the current 2013 have brought me issues and difficult situations. Sometimes I feel so lost that is similar to being trapped in a deep well with no ladder nor light. Sometimes there are more dramas to that. You know, like the feeling when there is  water underneath your feet…slowly arising and drowning you bit by bit. Have you ever feel the urgency for precious air? This thought makes me sick.

They say  that the city pollutes and corrupts your mind. But little  they know that hell is within your mind.

Shit I need to get these shits together.